I really enjoy listening to Unity.fm. There are some really great shows that are so thought-provoking. I love the way so many of the shows are so supportive of living a life with more care, more thought, more purpose, and more divinely-inspired. Absolute Living is a show that no longer airs, however the website still carries their episodes in archives.
The next to the last episode in the archives is entitled Another Look At Feeeeelings. I was listening to this last night, and was interested to discover that it really supports what I was saying in a recent post about our shadow side, which includes Anger. These radio hosts discuss the shadow side of ourselves that Debbie Ford has spoken so much about. The basic theme is that if we do not allow our shadow side to be expressed, then we cannot fully allow the so-called light side in either. The hosts describe how our feelings are like a faucet. It only turns on or off. If you block the faucet from hot water, the cold water will also be blocked and not fully expressed. We should embrace our shadow side. Without good and bad, we won't have creative impulse (according to Deepak Chopra).
The contrast is also important for us to know what we want, by way of contrasting against that which we decide (through experience) that we do not want.
I think that in today's world, there is so much pressure to always show a positive, friendly, "perky" (as they say in this episode) demeanor. My opinion is that this pressure comes mostly from FEAR. People are afraid when others show their shadow sides, which can be perfectly understandable. It would be a survival instinct to quell people's anger so that the anger does not end up causing physical harm to others. To extend that a bit further, it might be said to be also a fear of receiving emotional harm from others. Perhaps when we are not perfectly strong in our convictions and in our own personal inner strength, we could be influenced by another's display of shadow.
Having a "darker", shadow, or "bad" emotion certainly can feel very uncomfortable. Often, so-called negative emotions help to point to areas within us that we may need to examine. If something "strikes a nerve" in our daily experiences, maybe it's because we have "issues" that could use some examination and resolving.
I've often quoted Han Solo from the Star Wars movies: "I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around". I find that people are often a little taken aback by the fact that I can be a bit abrupt in the way that I honor my feelings. I choose to honor what needs to come out of me (because for me, it is healthier to get those "bad" or shadow emotions out of my body rather than stuffing them into my body to fester). I find that when I try to be more withholding, eventually it comes out magnified.
Unfortunately, it tends to come out in my body in the form of illness.
I do recognize that I could use a bit more TACT when I express my emotions. That is probably my greatest challenge: finding a way to balance the expression of my emotions with a consideration for the feelings of others. I do work on trying to find that balance. For myself, my focus in recent months is to increase my own self care.
That means that I cannot feel responsible for how someone else receives my truth.
I recognize that sometimes when I express my truth, I do so in an antagonizing way. Sometimes it is as though I am picking a fight. I think I do that because I want someone else to pick up that tennis racket and smack my ball back at me for me to examine. That is part of my lesson: to learn how to overcome this tendency.
We are all works-in-progress. I believe we can and should try to be more gentle with ourselves. In my opinion, that includes allowing ourselves to feel those shadow emotions. It means allowing ourselves to even *HAVE* those emotions, and to not beat ourselves up over them. It is HUMAN to have contrasting emotions. It is part of our visit here on this planet to experience contrast and learn from it. Just my 2 cents for the moment.
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