So, all of the things that go into settling into a new locale have been a bit of a challenge with little people under foot! We're spending a lot of time organizing, only to discover that the children have undone some of our great efforts within a short amount of time. I guess this is when we have to sit back and remind ourselves that it doesn't matter if everything gets into its proper spot, but rather that we are enjoying the process and that the children are enjoying this new transitionary period in their lives.
With temps close to 70 degrees today, I couldn't help but feel the coming of spring close upon us. I had the door and some windows open today, and it really felt great to have the air and sunshine coming in to air things out and bring that new energy in. I love that our relocation has coincided with the coming of spring! The idea of new beginnings appeals to me very much, and seems to be adding that extra special element to things.
I admit that I have been having some other challenges in regards to dealing with people. It is never my favorite thing to have to try to rely upon others for anything, and so when the situation presents itself, it is with some trepidation that I approach a new type of relationship with someone, whether it is in a business sense or a personal one.
For example, with our change in locale, and the fact my employment is also changing, we need to find a reliable form of childcare for those times when neither Lughthor nor I can be home for the children. I take the childcare relationship very seriously, as the person is someone I not only entrust with the safety of my children, but also someone who becomes a part of our extended family because I want my kids to feel that warm, family-like feeling from people with whom they would be spending long periods of time with.
I had a recommendation from a friend of mine to use a new-found friend of hers who would be a homeschooling mom. The idea of a homeschooling family really appealed to me, for obvious reasons and even some non-obvious ones. For example, I not only want my kids to be around people who have a similar philosophy as we do, but I also want to support a homeschooling family (financially) by giving them a source of income that would still allow them to continue homeschooling. Everyone wins, right?!
Well, so my friend 'introduced' us on Facebook, only it took a great deal of time for the new 'friend' to respond. That should have been my first clue that perhaps we were not both on the same page, but I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt. I wrote her a couple of personal facebook messages over the course of a couple of weeks, to get no response. Then I called her. No one answered the phone, and I have yet (to this day) gotten a return phone call.
At first, I was admittedly a little flustered. Then I remembered that sometimes NO answer IS the answer. Clearly, her priorities for herself and her family do not include fostering a relationship with me and mine...or devoting the kind of time that builds trust in a relationship so that I would feel comfortable (and happy) to leave my kids with her. I had to finally clear my mind and recognize that perhaps the idea sounded alright on the surface to her, but upon reflection perhaps it just was not going to fit in well for her. It certainly doesn't fit in well for ME to not have responses when I reach out to try to build a relationship with someone, so I guess we are not going to be a good fit.
And you know what? That's OK. Yeah, I know. A year ago or so, I would have been very upset and ranted about this. Now, I feel very much at peace with the fact that it is not always about ME. It is often about THEM and their needs, and I do not need to have judgement about that. I can be OK in just saying to myself that if it works and is a good fit, then great. If not, that's fine too, and I send her away with love and wish her and her family the best of luck.
As 'luck' would have it, I made several phone calls to local childcare folks in the area and found someone in our basic neighborhood who will be a really great match. She has a similar philosophy to mine in many areas. She was easy to talk to and she returned my calls promptly and with excited interest. I loved that she is happy to be flexible, and I believe she loved the idea of our schedule and the fact that I enjoy baking treats for kids and being involved (such as putting together craft projects and stuff occasionally).
This is truly a new beginning for me, as well as for our family. On a personal level, it feels good to be able to accept that an interaction (or lack of one, for that matter) does not need to be a source of stress or drama. I can accept that relationships or connections with people need to serve both parties. I do not take anything personally, nor do I feel a need to place blame. It is what it is. The peace of this washes over me in this moment, and really feels good. I really feel myself expanding and growing.
And so it is.
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