The First Snow of the Season

While other kids were stuck in school today, we were outside enjoying the first snow of the season.

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Well, it's November. How did *THAT* happen??

We've had several different issues with our camera,  which has kept me from posting more frequently with pictures...but, beyond that, we've been incredibly busy!!  When we aren't taking PinkSalmon to speech therapy, or attending playgroup (we *FINALLY* found one nearby that meets once a week, and as luck would have it, it is immediately before speech therapy and even is in the same town. SCORE!!), doing homeschool lessons, spending time with my husband on his days off, playing with friends, or decluttering ahead of our move next year, it seems that what little time is left over is best used for a nap, hot bath, or my latest obsession: crochet

I'm a *HUGE* fan of the Outlander TV series, which has lots of gorgeous knit pieces in it. That got me excited to try my hands at some of the great pieces. I am not a *complete* novice, but I am only one step above! I've been watching videos online and asking lots of questions of people so that I could complete projects. I'm currently working on a grey scoodie (scarf with a hood combo) for my oldest for Christmas.

My camera is at the camera shop as we speak (I managed to take a few snaps - see above - before my husband popped out the memory card for me and took the camera off to be fixed...it's a cord-plug-in-spot issue). This leads into my next section....

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For homeschooling,  (per usual) we've been using a collection of different curriculum options, themes, etc. I've been borrowing heavily from Oak Meadow lately. I am finding it just suits our needs a little better than Waldorf Essentials in some areas...it's more in-depth, gives more specific examples, etc.  

I think part of what I'm discovering is that I don't like the kind of block scheduling whereby you completely put down math (for example) in favor of a literacy block. I like to do a bit of both each week. I do, however, like to focus more *STRONGLY* on one subject for a while (even just for that week) and then switch it up the next week (for example). I just find that my son needs to keep numbers swirling around in his mind every week, or he starts to lose the flow, and by the time we dig back into it, we end up having to review all over again. That wastes time (in my opinion) and means it takes longer before we can scaffold higher. If I keep the lessons coming each week, then if we need to spend 4 weeks mastering something by going at a slower pace, so be it, but at least his mind is still on the path, if that makes sense.

We've been doing more main lesson book pages this year so far.  I'll post some as soon as the camera is back in my hot little hands. My son's pencil grip issues, while they *ARE* better, are still an issue. I am finding, however, that he is making his letters more of a uniform size, and that the size is a bit smaller (showing more control). He's much better able to write 15 vocabulary words, and the time it takes for him to complete it is shrinking.

We've been working with word blend families (ie. words that begin with cr, bl, dr, etc), doing one blend at a time.  My son's very good at reading, so this is more about spelling and writing for him. 

In math, we're still working on addition and subtraction up to 20 (they still require quite a bit of thought for my son, so we'll keep this up until it is second nature for him to add and subtract these numbers), the 100 chart, greater than and less than, and base 10. We have done skip counting by 2's, 3's, 5's and 10's. 3's are naturally the hardest. We haven't done much in the way of division (to round out the 4 functions). He does understand the process, however, and so I suspect when we are more efficient at grouping things, division will come more easily.

For science (and math, really) we've enrolled K. into another Minecraft Homeschol class. He loved the Biomes one so much, that now he's working on Alchemy and Chemistry. We work on the lessons *and* the builds together, but he takes the quizes completely by himself, and does a lot of work for each build as well.

Art is somewhat slower for us. My theory is that the Minecraft builds are a form of art and design. My son is not super excited about painting these days, but he will draw from time to time. I'm not going to push him, because art is one of those subjects where it really is all about your own creativity and interests (one could make the argument that this is true for*all* academic subjects).  We'll be baking and decorating holiday cookies soon, as well as creating some homemade gifts....so I think that all of those things in combination will make an adequate art curriculum for this quarter.

Music is also a bit slower. We do more "music appreciation" than actual playing of an instrument. I admit that I often forget about the recorder, or there doesn't seem to be a good time to do it. I am making a mental note to do something about this next week.

Social Studies lately has included the Minecraft Homeschool lessons (which combine science with history) as well as our saint stories (Waldorf curriculum). We've now covered St. Francis, St. George/St. Michael, St. Martin and will be working on St. Nicholas (as well as the various stories of Father Christmas from around the world) next month (December). 

We still read regularly (Jolly Robin was our most recent story, and we still do readings out of a Reading Comprehension book I had picked up last year). My son also reads a lot while playing various computer games, and he's even spelling and typing as he chats and types in commands. 

Over all, we've had a nice ebb and flow to our homeschooling thus far. We have weeks that are more busy and lesson-filled, and other weeks where "life" gets busy, and then the world becomes our curriculum. We try to find time for stories before bed, including listening to Sparkle Stories (we *LOVE* the Martin and Sylvia series!). I mix that up with reading from a  fairy tales book or other favorite book from our shelves.

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So, moving.    I know I'm a broken record, but the work seems never-ending. I try to find time every week to go through our "stuff" - and toss or donate items. It's mind-boggling how much stuff I have accumulated over the years. I'm trying desperately to limit our items. This is a slow process for me. I have a hard time letting go of things, and it is also overwhelming because of the number of things I have. This is a huge life lesson for me, and is creating some deep soul work for me.

I've already had a casualty of war in the friendship department.  Allow me to explain and analyze this, if you would....

I knew my friendships would all be tested, and I knew that several would probably not pass the test. It's hard to watch someone walk away who you've known for 25 years....and not only walk away, but burn the bridge behind them. I admit that as this friend was walking away, I was happy to toss her a match. I didn't want to see how our goals, priorities, and treatment of others was so fundamentally different.  

Having said that, however, I was willing to overlook those differences and try to continue to have a friendship. The difference is that I finally realized that my time and energy is valuable, and so when I expressed my disappointment in her lack of effort and obvious non-caring about spending time together, she struck back with an extreme reaction. She went on her Facebook page and spewed a slew of incredibly negative (and mostly untrue) things about me. She actually wished *harm* upon me in our new locale, and suggested that in my younger days I did things I should be embarrassed about. Basically, in a nutshell, slandering my good name. 

As I saw this going on, somehow I was able to stay detached and try to look at it from a broader perspective.  Here is a woman whose typical daily communications with the world include negativity. She rarely posts anything positive about any*one*  or any*thing*. Her postings are typically very immature, filled with vulgarity, and often times useless garbage (think: Miley Cyrus is her hero, and foul-mouthed rap music is her theme song).

 I should not have expected that she could maturely handle me finally speaking up when she blew me off for what (to me) was an important event, citing that she was "too busy" to remember that I had been waiting for over two weeks for her to confirm it (even though she had recently posted "I'm bored, someone talk to me" on her FB page randomly one night, never bothering to consider that I can see that, and would have welcomed a communication from her solidifying our plans together).

By the time she finally got around to nonchalantly asking "Hey you still wanna do that event?", I had already purchased my own tickets, because I didn't want to miss the opening-night showing. Sure, I could have simply said "Yes. I didn't hear from you, so I went ahead and bought my own tickets for opening night. If there are still tickets left, I'd be happy to meet you there". Yes, sure, I could have done that. What I did, instead, was say "Thank you for the after-thought, but I've already purchased my tickets". I had sent her a message the week before, trying to get her to nail down a time, but she never responded to it. I felt I had no choice but to move forward with my plans to be there for opening night...with or without her.

That simple sentence from me to her was the catalyst for her slanderous and vile post on her FB page about me. Yeah. Are you feeling it with me?

Anyway, as I said, I was detached enough to sit back and realize that it was fairly endemic in her general personality. It was typical of her reactions to anything that doesn't go completely her way, and certainly against anyone who would not be willing to accept the neglectful way in which she tends to her "friendships".

At first, I felt guilty. I felt as though perhaps I should have been more patient and understanding. That thought quickly eroded when she filled my inbox with ridiculousness, making it quite clear she had no regrets about being "too busy" to get back to me in a timely manner about tickets that had already been on sale for over a week when I started asking her to pin down a performance she'd like to attend with me.  Apparently, waiting an additional week before finally giving in and buying my tickets to ensure I didn't miss opening night seats made *ME* a bad friend (even tho, as I mentioned, I did try to remind her that I was waiting for an answer from her so I could get my tickets).

When she responded with bile, and then slandered me to others, something began to click for me in a way that it hadn't before (thankfully, we have no mutual friends on her friend list - a fact that, if you think about that really hard, should also be significant. Here's a woman I've known for 25 years, and yet she's never seen fit to introduce me to any of her new friends...and by "new", I mean ones she's met within the past 10 years. She's kept me completely separate from her life, only deigning to squeeze a little time in for me for our annual "opening night event" once a year).  

I realized that this was a woman who I didn't really know. The only thing holding our "friendship" together was the shared memory of our time together when we were teens. I wanted to believe that we could somehow become close again, but years have gone by and that has never happened, despite my attempts to reach out over the years. Simply put: we lived two completely different lives. I went to college. I got married. I had kids. I live a typical rural-ish-suburban lifestyle. My life is fairly drama free. I'm happy and settled.  She is single (at 42), never having been married, raised a child of a mixed race as a single mother, all the while going out frequently to dance clubs to get drunk and act like a perpetual 21 year old. She's crass, drama-filled, and totally unsettled...

...and I loved her like a sister anyway.

This feels like the first in a line of goodbyes ahead of me. I don't want any more of them to go out in a blaze of glory (sarcasm) like this one did...but, at the same time, could I have done anything other than be true to myself in this situation?

Perhaps underlying my decision to finally express frustration at her apparent lack of concern for my feelings and needs, is the realization that I AM VALUABLE. I deserve to be treated as such. If this were the first (or even second) time she had showed that I am at the complete bottom of her list, I probably would have let it go and gone with the flow. I think it had built up over the years the sadness and frustration that I simply do not matter to her.

I'm tired of not mattering.

The fact she went on an all-out verbal attack (both to me and then on her FB page) shows what little regard she had for our friendship. It shows her maturity level, and completely validates that I was well within my "rights" to question her commitment to our friendship - which is, in essence, what I did when I suggested that I am an after thought to her...which she seemed to happily confirm.

This wasn't about my impending move, because she herself is also moving away, and seems content enough to be somewhat attentive to her other "friendships" (drinking buddies). This wasn't about her in-ability to say goodbye to me properly when the time comes. This was about her being so focused on her lifestyle of partying, drinking, and picking up strange men that she couldn't be bothered to focus on a friend of 25 years and our annual get together. This was all about HER...and at the end of the day, I realized that that was really the problem here: everything has always been about HER.

Part of me mourns another friendship, but really I'm mourning what we *USED* to have 20 years ago. Really, I've just been avoiding this moment until it was forced upon me (or, perhaps, until I forced it upon us).

Goodbye, my dear friend Amy. Despite it all, I still send you away with love. I still care. I still hope for every good thing for you. In my heart, I hope you pull yourself out of the pit you've fallen into and find true happiness, because clearly you are a very miserable person inside. May you one day realize that I have only longed to be as we once were, but I suppose those two young woman are long gone now. Goodbye.