Doing Too Much???

Our New Floor

I have been reading several blogs lately (as I often do), and have noticed a bit of a trend that I hope begins to dissipate. Folks (99% of the time it's women) discuss how they are either feeling detached or overwhelmed, or they simply cannot figure out why they are feeling moody when they have so many blessings around them.

For parents in general, but homeschoolers and stay-at-home parents in particular, raising children can be draining!  Couple that with people who choose to over-schedule, over-join, over-volunteer, and micro-manage their children's curriculum and you have a recipe for exhaustion.  This over-scheduling has been a pet peave of mine for quiet some time. Well-meaning parents think they are doing their children great favors by signing the children up for every single activity, group, outing, class, etc. that comes down the pike, typically committing their children to an over-packed and completely over-stimulating week for these poor little growing bodies and minds.

I get it: we all want our kids to have a "fun" childhood. We want them immersed in great opportunities and "enrichment activities".  They have their place, of course, but it is overwhelming for the kids, and ultimately overwhelming for the parents to have to coordinate all of it, along with all of the other responsibilities of being an adult in charge of a household.  If one or both parents works for income, then that often means the other parent generally does the lion's share of child-rearing as well as household chores.

We do *NOT* have to be martyrs to prove we're good parents.  We do not have to join every single committee in order to show we're invested in our community, either.  Yes, many hands make light work, but not if YOUR hands are already full.  

Before we became parents, we were individuals with hobbies, dreams, goals, interests and thoughts of our own.  We do not simply cast all of that aside to become parents. We do our children a disservice if we give them the message that parenthood is about sacrificing who we truly are inside in order to create a certain appearance to others that we're super parents.

Why would you want to work so hard to try to impress people who would not recognize your value unless you worked yourself to the point of short circuit?  Aren't you acceptable just by being a fun person to be around, instead of being acceptable because everyone knows you'll volunteer to do every single committee possible?  If the answer to that question is not a resounding "YES", then maybe you are hanging around the wrong people.  Just sayin'.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, moody, etc. then it is probably time to re-evaluate your personal and family priorities.  It is time to find ways to have more "me time", for starters. It is so important to nurture your own personal needs.  We all need quiet time with our own thoughts. We need time to pursue some of our own interests and hobbies. 

Secondly, consider the activity level of your family as a whole. Do your children have time every day to just relax and do their own thing?  I try to have time every afternoon for quiet time for everyone. I shut off all devices and ask that the children find quiet activities to work on. This is such a special time each day!  The kids are often then seen playing quietly with legos, play dough, reading books, drawing pictures, imaginative play with toys, napping, etc.  After about an hour of that, I sometimes put on some soothing music. This can often result in a switch to quiet creative activities or even just lying down and daydreaming.

I use the quiet time to recharge my own batteries a bit as well.  I may use the time to do lesson planning or pursue a hobby of my own.  The beauty of it is that it is my choice, so I just listen closely to my own body and honor what messages I receive.

Please consider giving yourself and your family the gift of less scheduled activity.  Consider honoring your own need for "me time". Consider lightening your load of commitments to others. The world will keep spinning without your constant micro-management of it, and in fact if you step away a bit, it may give some other people a chance to shine who may be feeling that your overwhelming control of so many things does not provide room for them.  It's ok to let go a bit....really, I promise.