My First Apple Pie Of The Season!
Happy Autumn! I'm sorry I've neglected this blog. I've been out there enjoying The Real World (tm), but I also must admit that sometimes I get into this ethereal kind of space where I have so many thoughts rattling around inside of my head, and it's hard to pin them down into one coherent theme that would make an interesting blog post.
So, here's a bit of an update on life here at the Cape Of Good Hope (the name we gave for our new home).
Firstly, I'll start with the kids. They've been doing great for the most part. My oldest is taking honors classes in high school and playing a sport this year. She's really coming into herself these days, and I'm so proud of her for all that she is becoming.
My son has started school this year, but it has turned into a part public school/part homeschool adventure for him. We pull him out of school one day a week, as well as other days when our family has something fun or important to do. Unfortunately, his teacher did not start off things on a good foot with us, and so here we are needing to make adjustments to his education to include more play, imagination, creative input, etc.
My youngest is still an emerging speaker. Her speech delay becomes more obvious as she reaches an age where other children are chatting in conversation mode as she uses a 2 word phrase for the most part. She *IS* getting there, and we lavish her with praise every time she uses words instead of grunts and screams to express herself. She's made lots of progress over the summer, so I'm hoping this will be the year where her speech really takes off and she starts to play a little "catch up".
OK, so for work. I've been doing some teaching here and there. I feel I have struck a nice balance between bringing in some income and being home with the kids and husband. It feels good to have a little time outside the home and doing my own thing and it makes me appreciate the kids even more when I do see them.
So, it's Autumn. We didn't have a formal ringing in of the season, but we did go apple picking today, which is pretty darned close in my book. Being out in nature, to me, *IS* a kind of honoring of the season.
This reminds me....my spirituality has been going in interesting directions. I mean, I really do not want to put a label on my beliefs. I will say that I am totally in love with the natural world. I love to honor the cycles of the earth, sun and moon. I enjoy showing reverence for all living things. I also feel a strong connection to the divine, even if it is something still tenuous for me. What I once called "God" when I was a child, does not quite feel the same as what I perceive as God now. I guess that I feel that the divine source can be felt in all living things (including ourselves). I feel there is a central source for divinity, and that it is comprised of LOVE. Beyond that, I do not have a label for my beliefs.
I guess being a bit of a misfit is something I've dealt with much of my life. I often do not quite fit in with whatever group I am in. Some folks want you to dive in with both feet, otherwise you simply aren't good enough for them to invest in getting closer to you.
I would love to find a group of people who would welcome me with open arms, who would understand my (many) quirks and be interested in ME as a person, and actively pursue a deeper friendship with me. I do have some wonderful people in my life, but still have a desire to broaden my circle.
I guess I'm a nature-worshipping, new age scientist who DOES believe in a divine source. That's about as close as I can come to a label. In reality...I'm just...me.
Some folks say that by the mere virtue of the fact that I am a nature-worshipper, that puts me automatically under the umbrella of being Pagan since it is sometimes defined as "Any Earth-based system of spirituality". Maybe it is the stigma of the word, or maybe it's just that I resent needing a label for something so personal. If I don't need to label it, then why should anyone else need to label me? If calling me Pagan because I honor the natural world makes people happy, I honestly am not that bothered by it. Just to say I am a spiritual person who honors nature feels good enough for me, no matter what anyone else wants to call it.
I might be alone, but I'm not lonely. I do sometimes have twinges of loneliness, but as I've stated in other blogs, I truly do enjoy being with myself. I have always enjoyed it. There is a blog post about being alone vs. being lonely. I hope it helps anyone who might be feeling like they don't quite fit in anywhere (like me).
Have a wonderful week. I'll try to pop in a bit more regularly, but in the meantime...consider joining me in the real world every so often.
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